Lacoste and Polo all the way

The Everyday Struggle.

Hi there,

Something I felt like getting off my chest since the other day, when I was taking care of business in my Japanese style bathroom where the only thing that is warm is the toilet seat… There are only three things in the whole house producing heat which are: the kerosene heater (one of my favorite devices in the winter months), my toilet seat both upstairs and downstairs and, well, my rapidly beating heart… So let me tell you more about my wonderful heater… As long as it is full of kerosene I love it, otherwise it might just be the most useless thing in the whole wide world. The point of it is to keep you warm right? Well, once it runs out of fuel, (which we obviously store outside in the cold that we are trying to avoid), it’s pretty much “the suck” from there. You have to get the can from the inside of the heater, suit up, go outside and start the filling process… I must say, it has become much easier to refill it, ever since my wonderful wife bought this fabulous, battery operated pump for about 10 bucks in Yen, which I was too cheap to purchase.

Anyways, where was I… Oh, yeah, the filling process, well, first step as I have already described is to go outside, it’s like taking a leap of faith in a way and hoping that you don’t freeze… Once I’m out there in the cold, I go around the corner of my house and grab one of the 5 gallon canisters of kerosene and pray that it’s full.. Then I set them side by side, stick the sucking end of the pump into the canister and the other end into this awesome aluminum container which came out of the heater… Once I flip the switch, this beautifully engineered machine starts transferring the kerosene, at which point I’m just standing and waiting for it to fill up…This brings back the memories of our first winter here, the struggle was real! In an attempt to save some money on the pump I, being the smart man that I have decided to purchase a funnel for about 50 cents at a home store… Little did I know the funnel could only take so much before it got overfilled and the rest of the fuel would just spill all over the ground… I also, didn’t consider that a completely full jug of kerosene would not be very user friendly when time came to pour the fuel into the funnel.. It was a disaster.. So, these days I just wait for the canister to fill up. Once it’s full,  first I get the pump out of the fuel and shake it off for about 10 seconds, then I stick it in the bag so it doesn’t get dirty… By the way, whenever the winter is over, it gets dirty anyways and is quite the nice home for the spiders until the next January. Got carried away again… I wrap everything up, bring the canister back into the room and place it carefully into the heater. Then it pretty self explanatory… Just push a button, it fires up, spits up some nasty smoke and whoala! The heat from that thing is no comparison to the electric heaters in the house, but the constant refilling gets old.

So, I have some things to say about the toilet seats.. THEY ARE AWESOME! They remind me of heated seats in luxury cars like Lexus and Benz which are super expensive. You will only get those in the most luxurious cars and sometimes limousines. As a matter of fact, last time I sat my butt in a heated seat was in a limo back in Richmond,VA! I clearly remember the awesome feeling… It was winter, I lost my jacket that night, so all I had to wear was a dress shirt, silky pants and polished shoes with thin socks. As you might guess, I was freezing as soon as me and my company stepped out the door, but guess what? As we walked up to the side of the road, our shine white limo pulled up, we hopped inside and melted away in those amazing heated seats. Continue reading “Lacoste and Polo all the way”